Happy Spring, loosers!
Me walking into a group of people while a conversation was being held.
Man 1: Oh glad you joined. Say you had the choice to undergo a vasectomy. Would you do it?
Me: Yes. (Extremely nonchalant).
Man 2: Oh look at you all relaxed with your response.
Me: What’s your point?
Man 1: We were having the vasectomy discussion and Man 3 would not even dare do it.
Man 3 is eating a sandwich and chokes.
Me: Why not?
Man 3: It is not natural.
Me 1: Now lets say you are a woman and you don’t want anymore kids. Would you tell your husband to undergo surgery.
Me:……I guess, it would be more fun than taking pills or using condoms.
Man 3: It is not natural.
Me: A vasectomy, or me enjoying my newly renewed sex life without preservatives if I were a woman?
Man 3: Both!!!
Me: So you’d rather have your wife undergo the procedure.
Man 3: Yes.
Me: What about you Man 1, would you undergo a vasectomy procedure?
Man 1: I don’t know
Me: Yes or No?
Man 1: I’d be very afraid, I-I-I- d-d-don’t know, maybe, but I..
Me: Yes or No.
Man 1: More a “No” over a “Yes”
Me: So, it’s a “no”
Man 1: Yes.
Me: But then again, it is reversible
Man 3 chokes again and squirms as I can mentally see his penis shrinking to the size of a peanut.
Man 3: It is not normal!
Me: Neither then plastic surgery or a woman fixed.
Man 1: I would undergo surgery!!!!
Me: But not a vasectomy???
Man 1: I think so
Me: It is not normal
Man 1: Plastic Surgery?
Me: No, my patience!!!!!
Our beloved Premiere, Pauline Marois, has nothing more important in her agenda than bashing once again allophones as her Stasi Language Police is bashing now italians and has set its sights on one of the trendiest restaurants in Montreal, over the inclusion of the word ‘pasta’ on its menus.
According to the letter, the menu’s use of Italian words in the titles of some dishes, despite their being accompanied by descriptions in French, falls short of compliance with the province’s language charter.
So I am wondering if I open my little mexican “changarro” how on gay hell would I translate:
“Tlacoyos” or “Papadzules” or “Panuchos?”
Yup, there’s far less important things in Quebec like the (lack of family doctors, employment, competitive salaries, progress, investment, jobs, progress, did I say that already?, education, than actually the issue of bashing one of the trendiest and most emblematic Italian restaurants in Montreal, because its main dishes are in …italian.
Yes, we got the liberals out of power, happy? Now it is time to pay the price for it.
I can’t wait for spring cleaning!!!!!
Pic. Courtesy from The Gazette. Aislin
Two straight, single guys at the elevator next to me.
-Hey that was one big bouquet!
-I know, that must have cost a fortune.
-And for what, the flowers probably will be dead by tomorrow, anyways
-Phew, and you are going to need them for one night.
And that is how I knew they were single
So I went to the doctor, annual check up: FANTASTIC!
Then he goes:
-Any casual “fun” sex outside your relationship, street drugs, cocaine..?
Who am I Lindsay Lohan?.
Yes, actually a very boring Lindsay Lohan.